12/22/08

im so exited i got to go to my friends house today and its almost christmas yay and i made my mom a cute christmas ordimant for her tree and i think she likes it and i saw one of my best friends that i havnt seen in a while and her name is emma and shes so nice and funny whe played in the snow all day today and i want to ask mom if she can come over here and play or if i can go to her house her family just moved here they live by market place and she will be going to my school and im so happy that i have one of my true friends back in my life

today friday the 12 in december

Today was the funnest day at school and i loved it we had a party in my English class it was fun my teacher so nice and then on top of that im keeping my grades up and i have decided i want to be a flight attendant not a pediatrician i cant wait until Christmas because i want to see the look on my sisters face when she opens my guift im making it if my mom could ever take me to joans or Micheal's i love my family i really do im just to stubborn and im not the kind of person that just opens myself up to other people well i have to go to work love ya all bye bye

monday 8,2008

today was just a normal day i went to school and saw my friends but i was happy because they just left all the drama at home today and im trying to get money so i can go on the trip that i really want to i really want this so is all i want for Christmas is money so that i can go on this trip this is what i want i dont need to think about it again i know what i want in life and this is it. i love my family this morning i got up and i was mean to my mom and i was crying at school because i felt really bad so my teacher asked what was wrong after class and i told her so she let me call my mom on my cell phone and shes going through the same thing with her daughter but her daughter goes for wat she wants and nothing else and her mom was sad and you could see that and her daughter cuts herself now and she used to be really nice and loved her family and so i called my mom because i know id regret it later if i gave my family up i just love them so much and id do so much for them even if that means to give my life for then i love my friends and im getting better at this whole datting guy thig and i like this new guy hes a bishops son hes nice and cute but he has no intrest in dating to i think ill just date my friends until he is its so worth it to his name is not going to be told i just re decorated my room it so cute and i am getting my grades up im happy i dont have any low grades but im going to try to get them up so i can get some privaleges to go to my friends houses some time soon well night

the big day

i cant wait to get merried in the temple ever since i was a little girl thats what i have wanted but i just dont know what temple and i realy want this so im trying to prepare myself and i want to mery a return missionary and i know its hard to find a good one but honestly i love the church and i know its true and i want to go to byu idaho and get a bachelors degree in nursing so i can be a pediatrition the big day is the wedding day that every little girl dreams about having but i really want someone that wants to get sealed into the temple and be with the one i love forever well mom said i need to get up there for scripture study so good night to all and merry christmas

sunday 7 2008 merry christmas what its all about

today was the last fast sunday in 2008 it was fun i loved to watch the christmas devotional i had two friends over to watch it to they loved it and then we played a game it was fun and then we had left overs for dinner i love to have my friends over so my mom can see them to but i dont think its fair that i dont get to go to their houses they have parent to that would like to so me and i love their parents i cant wait until christmas is here my brother anthony is comming home to see my family and this year i have megan and pj for christmas im finnaly 16 and i thought it would never come and now i cant wait to be 18 so i can do what i want that meens i can date who i want then i can go to college and get a better job than i have and ill be a little more matture oh ya the best thing happend yesterday i got a letter to go to italy france and spain and this is what iv wanted all my life and i finnaly got it and i hope mom lets me im praying so hard and i feel it will be a life changing experience for me and i feel like i can help people learn more about the church and i really hope i can i know ill need to get a visa and a passport and we might need to pay a little but i think it is worth it i realy want this and ill make new friends and ill be seeing more of the world and i pray with all my heart that ill get to go and that my mom would understand this is all i want from her and well her love io know she would miss me but i can write and i can call her but i really want this more than anything iv ever wanted so im going to try really hard to earn the money so that i can go on this trip and ill also be learning a lot of history about the world and i would also go to church i just pray that my mom would let me go on this trip i really want this and id never ask for anythig else this is all i want so please heavenly father please lighten my moms heart please find me a maricle so that i can get the money to go on this trip i hope that you could help me so that i could do this i realy want this heavenly father iv never wanted anythig more than this please help me find the money i realy need this i think it would be a great thing for me thankyou for all that you have given me witch is a great family and a warm house to live in and food on the table and wanderful friends to be with well its time to go to sleep night i love you

sincerly

Brandi Hawkins

ps: Have a very merry happy chistmas And remember that all that matters is your family and that christ was born for us and thats all that matters its not about the present ans the gifts it more than that so merry chistmas

monday december 1st 2008

today is going to be a fun day last night i died my hair a purplish color and all my friends will freekoput and i love this color on me i cant wait to see everyones faces lol im so glad m,y mom is trusting me to make my own decitions now that im 16 i just wish she would let me date whoever i want i dont care about the other stuff and we wouldnt be doing anythig bad just hanging out with eachother more and she doesnt understant that i love him and ya he does back but he will only date me with my moms consent but other than that he wants to respect my mom and she doesnt like him but its not her life and i hate that she wants to choose a guy for me but last time she did that i got my heart broken but i know that will never happen with him well i have to go to school bye

friday the 21......

today is going to be so funn skylar is picking me up from school and were going to see a movie then megan and i are going to see a movie on saterday or monday so im so exited and today i am going to try to do some extra credit to bring my grades up from bs to as i am strugling im trying to remember how to change my bacroung but i dont remember and i have to help mom with that and her playlist that i can help her with lol well i have to go to school love you all dont forget today twilight comes out

at church today

today i had a very special day i beared my testemony and i was so scared i was shaking but i was so happy that i did and my best friend was at church today i like him but i cant find the right way to tell my mom cuz she doesnt really like him and he likes me too but theres no way mom will ever acknowlege the way i like him other than that i have had the happiest day ever

today

today im tired but happy i got to go with my friends to go trick or treating and that means my mom trusts me more i really love her and the rest of my family i just wish she and i could just do somthing fun just her and i . i really want to paint my room emerald green but she wont let me well i need to go get dressed for the day love you all bye

today

age and beauty..........

people try so hard to improve there beauty so they can look younger but why ? because they are scared,want a younger man, dont wana be judged,its the new style,its for depressions but these are just excuses why not be just the real you because most guys like and want the real you not the girl an a magazine or on tv onily a man that is desperate or just dreaming would want that and my friend asked me why do girls die there hair and where mack up and try to change there selves and i finally know why now its because we want to be better than we really are so we dont get rejected or just to look or feel pretty but its not really necessary to were all that because if the guy you are trying to impress doesn't fall madly in love with the real you he is truly crazy and out of his mind and is you do get rejected we can come together as friends and stay strong but never give up that will just give them the permission to push you around even more than they do then it will go on until you or your friends get hurt so just be yourself and if he doesn't like you then he is out of his own mind and he just wants sex or something else and dont be afraid of your age there is thousands of people that are the same age as you are

sisterhood.........

sisterhood can be a type of friendship which is two or more friends that are very very close to eachother nothing except jealousy and boys and others that try to break them up can separate these girls and they are so close they are like family together and they will do anything for eachother even if one is in a bad situation or in an old bad habit the sisterhood will come to save one that is hurt this kind of sisterhood is very very hard to break there is one more kind of sisterhood and that is the blood sisters and it is two or more girls that are born or adopted into ones family and they build a relationship so strong that it is nearly impossible to break it can onily be broken if one or more of them has a hardened heart or they let someone get in between them and there sisters that is very hard to do because there relationship is built up

its not just love.....

some people say there is onily one kind of love but there are many different kins and phases of love one is deep down inside of us and and many of us dont know that it is there another kind of love is not wanted so most of us lock it away deep deep down in our hearts and then when we really need it its not really that easy to get to so sometimes we need a friend or two to help us find it then there is a love between two people that is never lost and that is always there even if the two people get into an argument they will forgive each other because they have the love that bindes them together forever that is the kind of love that is never lost it is called true and ever lasting love that onily them there selves can brake the love that is between them there is also a hateful kind of love that is not really real to some people it is onily in the hearts of those who hates eachother and will do all that is possible to get rid of the other but that love is onily in the hearts of the people that are hateful and they are the kind of people most people try to avoid .

ITS NOT JUST A DANCE...

there are many different kinds of dances many of them require a dance partner and in whom you will need to trust in and a dance is not just a dance until you are having fun and enjoying it and you cant dance the walts to a tango beat theres specific dances that we all can learn and dance to we can dance together and we can have a smile on our faces and trust one another and we can enjoy the dance that we were ment to have together

some people

some people say getting older is a bad thing some people are scared to get older and some people cant wait to get older im turning 16 and im exited and some people just want to look like a child again and my friend made a great point to me yesterday and why not keep it natural why were make up and to die your hair and getting new cloths every day is a sad thing and people just need someone to tell them that its ok that they were the yesterdays style of clothes or two years ago's style of clothes well when you turn 16 you are alowed to get a job and or a lises but its not always the best thing and its not always the best thing that you get your lises or permit and some people just try to push away from there parents but we just need to stay close to our parents and our family